I woke up yesterday morning at 4am, hoping to snatch a good flight deal to Bogota so we could skip the 11 hour bus ride over two mountain ranges before catching our flight home. Unsuccessful, I retired and found myself unable to sleep. I laid in bed and was hit by the magnitude of this thing Blair and I have been doing. As I lay in the darkness, the soft rain coming down outside, I silently shed a few tears. Not out of sadness for returning home, but because we have reached the end of something meaningful, something life-defining, and are entering into a new and exciting phase of life. My desire to set out on this journey stemmed from a need to step outside my comfort zone and do something bold and out of character. I had found myself in a position crippled by fear of change and drowning in a wavering sense of self-confidence. Something had to change.
So, I shed these tears out of an overwhelming joy that this boldness has been rewarded repeatedly over the past nine months. From Asia through Nepal, India to the Middle East, around Africa and up the entire length of South America we have seen beauty that I can still barely even fathom. We pushed the limits of our fears and explored exotic, rugged, dirty and derelict places and built some of our most memorable relationships in the meantime. We gained a new perspective and deeper understanding of the tragedies and triumphs that have shaped our world...and often times the detrimental or decisive role that the U.S. played in those histories. Time and time again, our faith in humanity was restored as we became the undeserving recipients of selfless hospitality, friendly curiosity, joyful celebration, timely transportation and valuable advice. As predicted, our suspicions that 'this world is not such a scary place' were confirmed as we moved through twenty drastically different countries.
Together, Blair and I have trekked the globe and indirectly engaged in a crash course on conflict resolution, rewarding us with a richer understanding of each other and a more intimate relationship than when we began. A fair amount of concern was expressed prior to our departure about us spending so much time together and what that might do to our relationship. Indeed, it has been A LOT of time--and not always good times! Even so, there is not a single other person that I could spend 6,576 straight hours with and come out the other side with a deeper love and respect for than when we began.
We returned home today to family and friends whom we missed dearly as they celebrated holidays, weddings, birthdays and babies in our absence. We are thankful to return to such a strong and loving community. Blair returns to a job he loves, and I am eager to pursue new goals shaped by a deeper understanding of who I am and what I am passionate about. So, when people express how disappointing it will be to return to 'reality', I just don't see it that way. Instead, I see how this journey has formed a new 'reality' for me and wonder...is it more disappointing to return, or to never have left at all?
